i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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