just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
