are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
