Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
