maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
