haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
