you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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