Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
