Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
