Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
