Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
