the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
