So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
