tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
