wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
