I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
