Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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