i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
