I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
