butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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