She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
