If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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