didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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