I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
