My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
