Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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