I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Ladies don't puke and tell
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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