i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
