My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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