there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
