Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
