How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
