we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
