TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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