I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
