I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
