And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
