you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
