I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
