the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
