what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
