My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
