so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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