butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
North Korea, Best Korea!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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