is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
