Having a random hookup so left but love u
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
