he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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