I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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