i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
