Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
