THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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