i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
