i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
