Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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